Have a good day every day!
I will ask you three questions, very simple ones.
- Are you having a good day?
- If yes- then why, if no- then why?
- Would you like to have a good everyday?
Of all the above questions, answer to the third questions is simple. Yes, we all want to be happy all day, every day. Yet we don’t pay much importance as to how we can create that good day.
Coming to the first question..answer would be either yes or no, as simple as that. Now let’s look at the second question and a few years back the most probable reasons why it would be a yes for me-
- I received a compliment, I got a promotion, I ate yummy food, I watched a great movie, I spent awesome time with my friends
And if the answer is no, the reason could be one of the following:
- Had a fight with my husband, argument with my boss, bad hair day, my neighbor ignored me, bad traffic on road, too much work pressure, no time and so on
The reasons that would decide the fate of my happiness would be all external, situations over which I had no control. Now you will say we know this, that happiness is internal and not external.. and there is nothing new about it.
So I am not going to tell you the story that look internally for happiness.
I am going to give you two solid techniques to create a good day and be happy irrespective of the external situations.
- Think WIN (What’s important now?)
Let’s take a situation where in the external dialogue is spoiling your day. You have set a nice meal for your family by spending hours in the kitchen. Your mother-in—law reacts after taking a sip of the soup- “The soup I had at Rama’s place last week was simply delicious”. This reaction from your MIL puts you off. Is she hinting that the one I made is bad.. yes .. she is.. how rude.. she never appreciates my efforts and yes there you go on a negative trail. The first morsel you swallowed seemed to have got stuck in your throat and there your dinner also got spoilt and that’s the worst thing you can do it yourself..not have a meal peacefully.
All that for your MIL’s dialogue. It could be replaced by a facial expression or a rude comment or simply ignoring by someone.
How do you come out of this… here is a very simple technique.
Ask yourself “What’s important now” and the obvious answer when you are at dinner table is going to be “Have dinner”. Trick here is not getting deeper down the trail but reversing it. You are changing the biological process your brain. By asking a question to yourself… you are shifting your brain’s focus from emotions to logic and the trail is cut.Brain can either think logically or emotionally at a time. Try this it works wonderfully.
- Happy song
It is not always the external dialogue but often the internal dialogue that’s sets us off track.
Your mind is constantly either thinking about the past or the future and experiencing emotions like “sadness, worry, anger, guilt”. This internal dialogue is far more dangerous than the external one because you can start it anywhere, anytime. I refer to this dialogue as the “Gloomy loopy song” as it sad thoughts as though you have put a song on loop. Again a simple technique is to replace it with a “happy song” .. that is literally start humming a song that makes you happy and you will see how the looping breaks.
Do try these two techniques and let me know how they worked for.
Have a good day everyday J